Discovering Woolfin Habits

Getting used to the fact that we were sharing our house with other wildlife wasn't so bad, since we've had our share of squirrels, mice, raccoons and skunks around here. Getting used to the fact that regular traps weren't working and wondering what was sneaking around here was a bit harder to take. We knew we had something new, but it took alot of ingenuity to identify the Woolfins and even more creativity to catch one. It took years but I've come up with a method to trap them live and currently I have five in captivity. They're easy to keep, since they eat dryer lint, dust bunnies and pet hair. However, they won't mate while kept in cages, nor are they happy. I believe they easily die of broken hearts but they just tend to disappear when this happens. No trace is ever found of their remains. Perhaps the others consume them or perhaps they turn into another wire coat hanger in your closet. I've had quite a few of those turn up, unexplained. One thing that does make them happy is socks. They absolutely love socks. They devour these treats so fast it is almost unbelievable. Throw a sock in with them and a feeding frenzy ensues. It's amazing to watch and explains why I lose so many socks after doing the laundry. The wild Woolfins will take them right out of the dryer overnight. They never take a pair though, and I now have a drawer full of miss matches, which makes a good treat supply for my little friends. I have also observed that they love coffee cream. They won't open a new carton, but if there's one in the fridge with just a little left, they'll steal the cream and leave the empty carton in the fridge. The same goes for liquor. Leave a bit left over in a bottle and in the morning it will be gone. There's no 'hair of the dog' for a fix-me-up.
I'm bound by the Canadian government to keep my trapping methods under wraps for now, until they determine whether the Woolfins are a threat to mankind. I rather doubt it, but if they plan to turn them loose on the Taliban, they better start working on ways to control them as they're not very obedient.